Saturday, March 30, 2013

This buck's for you...really?

I left town for 48ish hours.

This is what I came home to.

On the wall in the master bedroom.

Just for perspective-this is exactly how it looks from where I sleep.

Yes, to answer your question, it is staring directly at me.

So, I may or may not EVER travel without my husband again. This "monster buck" may or may not find its way to the basement in the very near future.

The husband swears it looks good. I may need to remind him that I spent 12 years as a vegetarian and while I have come a long, long, looonng way....I'm just not here yet....and likely never will be.

Easter Egg Hunt 2013

We traveled to Nashville for the annual Easter Egg Hunt at Pennington United Methodist Church today. It was great fun, nevermind what you may think if after seeing our bunny FAIL pic--


A photographer friend of mine likes to remind me that its always about capturing life as it is at this phase. Well, I would say this pic sums it up. Lizzy screaming when anyone else is holding her and Jay lying in the floor in protest. IN FRONT OF 50 PEOPLE. 

It was really hilarious and Lizzy only cried for a second. Thanks for being a good sport EB, can't wait for next year!

On to the hunt!!

The helpers or "bunny wranglers" wear these awesome hats, so Jay had to have one as well. Because he, too, is awesome. 

We listened to the Easter story....

Visited with some awesome animals at the petting zoo... 

Loving Kelsey's face here!!

 Had a blast hunting eggs....


then napped for 150 miles or so on the way home!

Thanks to Ms. Keven and everyone at PUMC for a GREAT GREAT DAY!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

More than you want to know about a trip to the grocery....

***Warning-this post is heavy on booze and Jesus.***

Here we go...

Checking out at the grocery store one morning this week, the kids were wrangled, groceries were bagged and as I turned from my cart to pay I glanced at the lady in line behind me and noticed she had only two items in her cart. 2-4 packs of small bottles of wine. At 9:30 a.m. On a Tuesday.

I froze.

My heart pounded and I wanted to cry for her, for myself for everyone living with alcoholism--whether its their own or someone else's.

My head was spinning, I looked her in the eye, inside I was shouting "IT ISN'T WORTH IT!!" Because I knew, I knew that this woman wasn't picking up party favors, or planning for a trip to the beach. She wasn't planning to celebrate a big win for her favorite team or celebrate a neighbor's retirement.

She was filling a void. Feeding a demon. Dulling herself. 

Instead of offering her any of the words swirling in my head, I finished my transaction, told the cashier "thank you" and could only muster a "Be Careful." to the woman behind me.

After loading the car and getting the kids settled I was about to drive away and noticed the woman walking to her car. It was a beautiful spring morning, she was smiling and looked fairly put together. She opened her trunk, put the wine in, put her purse down beside it and slipped a bottle into her purse, then picked up a plain plastic cup from the trunk and put it in the driver's side of her car, with her purse. She returned her cart, got in her car and proceeded to pour herself a drink.

I knew each step she would take before she did it. I have known steps like these most of my life. 

At 9:30 a.m. on a Tuesday, I felt like I was watching my mother as I watched this stranger. I was praying, praying, praying for her, for her safety and wanted to jump out of my car and talk to her, but I couldn't. I felt like a 12 year old girl, afraid because I knew the truth and afraid to let anyone know I knew the truth.

This woman has been on my mind nonstop. I shared this story with my husband AND MY MOTHER. I can't stop thinking about this woman and the countless others like her. I can't stop thinking of her family and whomever she is "hiding" her addiction from. (By the way, most who struggle to hide addiction are nowhere near as slick as they think they are. The ones who love you know what you're hiding. They just love you too much to confront the issue. They are afraid it will hurt you more than you're hurting yourself already.)

I've prayed for this woman, her family and her pain. I've prayed for my family and any other families and their pain. I've prayed that somehow, she will know--they will know what I couldn't bring myself to say.

  You are loved immeasurably more than I can ever tell you. Whatever pain you have, whatever secrets you're keeping, whatever you're numbing, whatever deep-dark-ugly place in your heart hurts--GOD IS THERE. 

God can take your hurt, your secrets and the darkest of deep places and shine a light upon it that will heal you. A light that is your gift from him--that casts away all darkness and will carry you to a place of eternal joy and peace. Its a joy that cannot be robbed, a peace that cannot be shaken.

You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be who God made you to be. He did not create the miracle that you are so that you could live your life in pain, sadness, spinning your wheels, feeling worthless. He created you, in His image, to be a light in the darkness. He loves you despite your "flaws", despite your mistakes, despite yourself. His desire is for you to know this and share in His love and His light for all of eternity. 

I wanted this woman to know she wasn't alone. Ever. I wanted her to know that whatever it was worth to her to drink this morning and hide it from someone was NOTHING in comparison to the turmoil and heartache addiction causes everyone it touches.

I wanted this woman to know that others have walked in her shoes, others have been where she is, and I know one woman in particular would tell her that she is killing her self and it just isn't worth it. At least that's what my mom told me today when I told her about the woman from the grocery store that I couldn't get off of my mind.

I know God is showing me things like this for a reason, I don't know yet what the reason is. I do know that as I have gone about my day today I knew I had to write this and share it somehow, even though I tried to talk myself out if it a million times. I even mopped the floors as a way of procrastinating until the end of nap time to avoid blogging today, and wouldn't you know the kids are STILL asleep.

So, that's more than you ever wanted to know about a trip to the grocery store, but thanks for sharing in this with me.

Monday, March 18, 2013

After Lizzy's Birthday I will....

There have been lots of things I've been putting off until after Lizzy's birthday. Not really because Lizzy's birthday would interfere, its just that I sometimes find its easier to pick a time to switch gears and her birthday seemed like a decent point of procrastination  milestone for getting things together. Do you do things  like this or is it just me??

Either way, its here "after Lizzy's birthday". I am plotting and planning in my head and it gives me an ounce of accountability to blog about it. It seems more sane to call it "blogging about it" when this is really a glorified way of talking to myself. But I appreciate you "listening".

So "after Lizzy's birthday"..

-  i'm getting back on a house cleaning schedule. I had one for our old house while it was on the market and it really helped me. I wrote out a version for this week and am testing it out for this house. Hopefully, it will work!

- getting bedtimes back. This really just went nuts with the time change and longer daylight, but there have been several days that Jay has seen 10 pm. No bueno. So, as of tonight we're getting our routine back . We ALL need it.

- helping Jay become fully potty-trained. Started this one anew today. So far, so good.

- finish settling into/organizing/furnishing New House. I am prepared that this may take 5-7 more years, but a complete standstill is never a good thing.

-getting Lizzy to eat/try more foods.

- we need music. I hope to freshen up the iPod with some things for the kids and I to jam to during the day and for Joseph and I to enjoy together. This seems like a small thing, but I think the constant Maw and Ruby tunes and Dora theme song as our soundtrack is taking its toll on us all.

Happy "after Lizzy's Birthday" Monday y'all! I hope you're knocking out those to-do's too!!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Somebunny's One {party people}

We had a great time and it was a glorious day for a party and egg hunt. Lizzy was just wonderful and loved being the Birthday Girl! 

 Ready for cake!

 Family Photo attempted...without much success.

 Lizzy seemed to enjoy the singing. She was so pleasant and just smiled like she wasn't sure what was happening, but she liked it.

 She was not the biggest fan of the cake or the mess. She just kept wiping off the icing. In her hair.

 After a quick Crisco removal  bath, we're ready for presents!

 Outside for egg hunting and enjoying the weather.

 After the party, clean-up had Dede and Jay a little wacky! turns out they both like tutus!

Somebunny's One {party stuff}

The invitation--(the one I sent included the address)
 The sweets...

 I wasn't sure what to do for a cake topper, so I chose to work with a medium I am familiar with-ribbon! I'm happy with the way it turned out. The "L" is a craft letter with scrapbook paper mod-podged to it. (Can I use Mod-podge as a verb??)
 The white chocolate bunnies were picked up on the Easter Aisle at CVS or DG, I was going to make my own, but when I saw them it was too easy not to pick them up and save myself the trouble of getting the molds and making them myself. Everything else I made. 

 We used Daddio's highchar for the birthday girl. This was it's 1st tutu in 38 years, and possibly it's last cake smash. 
  I filled our entry table with some pics of Lizzy as well as one from Jay's 1st birthday and a baby pic of myself and Daddio, just so we could compare. I made the pink frames based on a tutorial from my friend Sarah, you can find it here.

 Close up of water bottle labels.

The favors.